Friday, April 2, 2010

Only Passing Through


It has been my dream to buy a piece of land and create a self sufficient lifestyle, to get out of the rat race and live in the country side. Since I am a born and bred city girl I would desire a location close enough to a big city, in case of emergencies, to be close to good hospitals. To have on hand the buzz of city life if so desired.
The ideal place for me to have my dream homestead would be in a deep dark forest. This desire is a result of the experiences I have had from my childhood of living on a magical tree lined avenue. Having grown up on a double tree lined avenue I equate the feeling of going home, to travelling through a tree made tunnel.
With the trees tick heavy green leaved branches, creating a ceiling over head .Protecting all passing below from rain showers while still allowing the rays of sun to travel through the leaves lighting the way home.
This tree made tunnel I travelled throughout my childhood, to get to my little house with the red door, was always so alive. The smells of the season, rustle of the trees in the wind,the birds that lived in the trees, to personality and rugged charter of each tree, that had stood the test of time and tunnelled home safely generations of my family before me. My great grandparents, grandparent’s aunt’s uncle’s cousins second cousin’s parents and brothers and sisters. I wonder how many times the generations before me walked the tree caved avenue, did they know each tree the way I did, each lump and bump and did they watch the birds nesting and going about their business.
Did the generations before me play like me, games under the trees, collect the leaves, trace the leaves, paint the leaves, put the leaves between the pages of book to hopping to make the leaves last forever?. Will the generations after do what I did, pick bark of the tree, have names for the trees, and even make leave perfume from the mighty trees. Were the generations before me affected by changing seasons as I was, did they have a favourite? Was the impressive constant colour changing canvass of the tree tops as life changing and dramatic for them as for me?
Living under mighty trees provides a constanct changing landscape right outside the window. The changing colours of the autumn, the fall of the first autumn leave. To a mountain of leaves piled up on the foot path. Mountains created by neighbours kindly brushing up the leaves into a neatly stacked large pile against the trees. Generously the tidy neighbour ‘s who unwittingly created entertainment for children on their way home from school. Children trampled crunched kicked rolled and hid from parents in the no longer neatly piled leaves. I used to wonder was brushing the autumn leaves in a meat pile just before school came out just the adults way of playing with the leaves to. How I wish one last time I could clear the path in front of the house with the red door.
Did the generations before me enjoy as much as I did the beautiful bare branches of winter, at last making visible the birds’ nests, no longer hidden in the foliage, spring buds which quickly changed to a massive leave lined ceiling sheltering all that travel underneath.
I no longer live on the avenue. I dream a bigger dream of a home in a timeless forest, a long way from what I had as a child.
My desire is leave the city, on a tree lined avenue drive a short distance but still deep enough in to a forest to question what century you are in. A forest so deep and dark so alive with animals birds insects and plant life, a forest that when you walk through it, you feel a slight tinge of fear ripple through your body as if you know the forest is watching you. An all knowing forest and the forest knows that I know it knows it will be still there long after I am dead and gone. I am only passing through.
My dream is to live in a deep dark all humbling forest. I would like a home where the only way, in and out of the house is to travel right through the forest. How much life would each tree sustain in the forest I want to know and see on a daily basis the animals the forest trees provide protection too. I wonder like my great grandparents where the pioneers of their generation, taking the brave steps, uprooting sticks and moving to a double tree lined Avenue. The Avenue that my great-grandparents moved to is still protecting generations of their family to this day.
Will I be a pioneer of my family will I create a legacy of life under the canapy of the forest will generations after me be affected by my decision based on a childhood experience of living on a tree lined avenue. Will having a childhood in the deep dark forest inspire decisions in future generations of my family? They way I was as a child forever changed by life under trees. For now on the generations to come will have a lot more than a double tree lined avenue to protect them. The generations to come will live under the canopy of a forest so deep and so old it dates back to the 13 century. Will the generations know and love the trees the way I did. What legacy will I leave behind or ??????????????????